So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
