you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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