he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
