dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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