Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
