So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
