I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Semen is not good for contacts.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Randomize
