A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
