So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
