im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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