Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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