how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
