My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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