I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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