I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
