I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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