There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you win again, gameday.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
