Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You were trust falling into bushes
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
