Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
