he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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