I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
