The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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