piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I think I am morally bankrupt
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
