so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
