how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
