Can Purell be used as lube?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
