The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
