Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Randomize
