he puts the penis in happiness.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
