i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
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at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
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Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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