Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Randomize
