just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i will never coherently bang her
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
