He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
