chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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