He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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