I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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