I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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