There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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