ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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