She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize