im gay
i know
yea but for you.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
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