with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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