Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
