maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
