I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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