I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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