you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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