A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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