Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize