She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
