You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
jump out the window naked night went bad
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
