I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
