we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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