Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I am naked and annoyed.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
