I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
