Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
