like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
