she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
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That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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