I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
