I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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