he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he fucked my hip out of place.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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